


Everything in Pieces

by atlas (cissysullivan)



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-08 13:50:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cissysullivan/pseuds/atlas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens to Charles as he contemplates the loss of his friend Erik Lehnsherr once he is returned home from the hospital.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything in Pieces

In chess, the queen is the most powerful piece. Without the queen you are helpless. Yes, you can still win without your queen, but this is very difficult to do. It is for this reason that most people forfeit the game if they lose their queen. They know there is no reason to continue when the game has been handed over to their opponent on a silver platter.

As Charles Xavier stared at the black queen chess piece he was rolling between his fingers, he now understood why. Even in life you had your pawns and your bishops, your rooks and your knights and, of course, your queen.

You could lose your pawns. The loss would be painful, but not terribly so. You could lose your rooks and your knights and your heart would still be intact. You could even lose your bishops and believe that someday there would be light, hope in your world again, but if you lost your queen, you no longer saw a reason to go on living. What point is there to live when you already know the game is over?

Charles sighed, placing the piece back down on the chessboard. Erik had been his queen. He had stood by him and helped him and even allowed him to fall in love with him. Then, without warning, he had left him, left him to die, left him alone with an injury that could never possibly be repaired.

_I can't feel my legs…_

Fingers trembling, the telepath placed his hands against his thighs, pinching at the skin, willing himself to feel something, anything, but he did not. He grit his teeth and dug his nails into his flesh until he was sure he was bleeding, but there was nothing to show for it except a crimson stain slowly spreading across his trousers.

_Us turning on each other. It's what they want. I tried to warn you, Charles. I want you by my side. We're brothers you and I. All of us, together, protecting each other. We want the same thing._

It was cruel, really. He had lost his sister, the man he loved, and the woman he cared for all within the span of a couple of months. As he stared at the chessboard now, he named each of them as pieces. Erik was his queen, Raven was his bishop and Moira was his knight. The children he now lived with were his pawns. He cared for them and their loss would probably damage him far beyond repair, but that was simply because he had already lost everyone else so dear to him. Their loss would only be intensified because of this.

_Oh my friend…I'm sorry, but we do not…_

Carefully placing his index finger on the black queen once more, Charles closed his eyes, his brows drawing together so the look upon his face was one of pain and pure sorrow. He took a deep shuddering breath and whispered, "Check mate, my friend."

Before he knew what he was doing he had picked up the queen and hurled it at the wall. He watched as it bounced off the crimson painted wall, leaving a small black mark where it struck. The sight satisfied him and before he knew what he was doing, he was throwing all of the black pieces at the wall, each of them leaving a new scratch of black. When the black pieces were gone, he started on the white ones that left their own marks. It was only once all of them were scattered about the room that he picked up the board and flung it like a Frisbee at the wall, watching with utter satisfaction as the board ripped the paint off the wall, leaving a ragged mark in its place.

The younger mutants who had been hanging out, drinking in the library, thinking he didn't know, rushed into the room, concern dominating their features as they entered the room. There they found their professor sobbing with his head in his hands.

While Hank tried to calm him down, Alex and Sean went around the room, picking up the chess pieces and placing them carefully in their correct positions on the board – which had skidded under his desk – before carrying the whole thing over to the table it had been sitting on moments before.

They all asked continually what was wrong, but they got no response. It was not until Charles was finally able to gain some semblance of control of his tears that he was finally able to gasp out, "Everything is in pieces now."


End file.
